Our Family Tree

Angel Oak Tree

This weekend we said goodbye to a very important person in our lives, Annalee Johnson. She meant the world to me, I loved her gentleness, her kindness, her grace and I was always in awe of her. I am forever grateful for her, she was instrumental in keeping our family together. You see we are the epitome of a "step" (for lack of a better word) family that works. Why? Because the adults in our lives wanted it to and without her it would never have happened.
As I struggled over the last few weeks, knowing her life was coming to an end, I realized she, Floyd, her husband, my mother-in-law and our Aunt Lettie, are the last of the older generation in our family that we grew up with. I have sat and had time time to reflect on our family, sometimes in the solitude of my own thoughts, sometimes in sharing with others and other times with another sister, though not my own. I have been extremely blessed to have a few strong godly women in my life, who were the essence of grace, dignity and lived in faith daily, Ann was one of them. She welcomed my sisters and I into her family, arms opened wide, always a hug and smile when we walked through her door. You see we were there to pick up our brother and sister and she was always there to welcome us in. We grew up without the struggle and the tug-of-war to spend time with our older brother and sister. My dad was able to go and get them every chance he could, it was part of our life. We may not have always realized it when we were young, but boy did I realize it when I had my own. As I grew older I learned to appreciate the gift she gave us. 

Ann meant so much to so many people, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, caregiver, sister, teacher, friend. When I called, which was not as often as often as I should have, just to check on her and Floyd, she always asked about my parents, my sisters and their families too. When we dropped in for holidays unexpectedly she always greeted us with a hug and a smile. It doesn't even end with my brother and sister, but with their brothers, sister and families too. We have had some great times and all of us sharing in her love. She was love. She was much like my Grandma Geema, who taught me to live in faith, to love fiercely and that no matter what, you can come out on top, if you choose to. Geema could have been defined by the tragedy in her life and angry at her circumstances, but instead she taught me faith, love, kindness and grace. Growing up we never had to chose which house to go to, which grandparents to see, we were SO blessed to have a family that chose a different way. My maternal grandparents, went with us on Christmas Eve to our paternal grandparents' house and sometimes aunts and uncles too. Easter and other holidays were filled with whoever could join us, it didn't matter what 'side'. As we grew up and had families of our own, my mom made the decision to bow out and have family Christmas early every year so we didn't have the pull of going to so many houses over the holiday's. Our in-laws were always welcome, my mother-in-law never spent a holiday alone, she was either with one of her other kids or she was with us at my parents home. That is how it should be. Family together, without the fight, without the power struggle, never a game. It is how I was raised, it is how we continue to this day. We have more grandparents and family that isn't biologically related then I can even begin to say and yet an outsider would never know. We are just family and I am grateful. I think that because of so many people in my life like Ann, Grandma Geema, Grandpa Judy, Aunt Vera and many more, they are a part of the reason family is so important to me. You see only one of them is actually biologically related to me. It is at the core of who I am, they bring me life, they bring me joy. It's why a piece of my heart and soul is missing with Michael and his family so far away. It took months for me to recover and try to find joy again when he left for Basic training and it wasn't even my first rodeo. I am there for our family, because it's who I am, they are a part of me. I do whatever it is that needs to be done and no I do not expect anything in return. You see, if you expect something in return, then it becomes an agenda, it becomes ticket punching or tit-for-tat. That isn't how it should be, that isn't what family is about. It's about sharing the good, the bad and the ugly times too. It is the birthday's and the night out, the holidays and the cup of coffee or just a simple meal. It's all of it, not just occasions. It's not perfect, it's not without its ups and its down, but it is worth it. It's family. We have those in our life, who would do anything, drop everything to just be with me, with us and not expect one thing it return. How lucky am I to have people like that in my life? When you have someone who you call or text and you know they are going to be there on the other end. The ones who really do answer your calls or your text and those who do not forget to call you back. They recognize the need in your voice and make a 2 hour journey just to have lunch. Isn't is beautiful to know that you have someone in your life that is there for you no matter what. I love that my friends love my husband just as I do and he is so generous and welcomes them, and all their kids, in. It never mattered that we didn't have the best of whatever, a big house, or the circumstances of our life, it only mattered that our door was open and we greeted them with a hug and a smile. That is family, they are the leaves of my tree branch of this old family tree.  

 The tree above is located in South Carolina, generations old, it's trunk winds around and it's roots give it strength. It has stood through many storms, hundreds of years old and brings joy to many families today. When I think of our family and friends I think of an old tree such as the Angel Tree. Please don't think it's been perfect, that isn't my message here, it's been stormy, weathered, loved, cared for, splintered and pruned. We have weathered so many storms, it has many, many branches, all twisted together and off in many directions. The trunk so strong and winding because of these great families who decided to do it differently. I miss my Geema more than words can say and I will miss Ann in that same way. I only pray that I can be half the woman that the two of them were, that I can be an example of God's unending love and make you two proud. I know you two are watching over us all. I love you and we will miss you.

I Corinthians 13:13
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.