I just read some comments that didn't "sit" well with me. Some of them were "I would rather have friends and be able to look at myself in the mirror than be rich." "I don't have a huge house, nice car or a lot of money, but at least I have friends." "I don't have..., but at least I have...." Why is this okay? Why can we not have a nice house, nice car, money AND friends. I don't understand, I don't get it. Why is it one or the other? Where is this coming from and why is it trending? I see it in other areas when it comes to weight and fitness too, but I want to talk about "the rich".
Sadly, I see a consistent theme or ethos on Facebook and on the internet regarding the wealthy, they are evil, immoral, it's unfair and more. There seems to be a push and I just don't understand it. Are there some who are immoral or fit this description? Yes, there are and I am not denying that. I have also seen cases of entitlement on recent shows and other exploited exceptions to the rule. The majority are not evil, immoral beings, but the minority stand out and the perception is gaining momentum. This perception is snowballing.
These days I do see more questionable actions, lack of values and morals, I see life valued less, I see people valuing themselves less. I don't see this in the just the rich though, I don't believe this is from a rich and famous agenda. If it were true that everyone who was wealthy or rich and famous were
evil, immoral characters then what type of world are we living in and
where are we headed? If the rich and
famous are these evil doers than why are we going to see their movies or
listen to their music? If we truly saw them this way then we would
stop and wouldn't spend our hard earned money to further their agenda. We need to wake up and stop the blame game.
I have lived abundantly, not wealthy, but no wants, and I have lost everything, in neither of these cases have I been any of the above. In fact, I HAVE been told I am "to damn honest for my own good". I have always been able to look at myself in the mirror and I have taken responsibility. It wasn't the other persons fault when I lost everything, it was my own for not reading a contract thoroughly and with a fine tooth comb or having someone else read it for me instead of gleaning through and assuming.
I have met some incredible people over the last 10 years. I know a lot of wealthy people, some through my tax career, some through my business and some who I have just been fortunate enough to meet and not one of them is evil. I have
never asked one of them for a handout, nor would I ever! They didn't get there on someone's back, they did it by doing what others weren't willing to do. They were uncomfortable, but knew they only way to make a change was to change themselves. I know a man who saw a need unfulfilled and designed an entire business to fulfill that need around the world. Now retired he has given about 80% away and when he passes, the rest will be given away. These people stepped out of the mainstream and chose a different path. They saved, they sacrificed, short term, and they did more than they had to do to get where they wanted to go. At some point
we have to start taking responsibility for our own lives.
I have worked for minimum wage and I have worked for less than minimum wage. When I realized and understood that I was not going to be able to provide for myself and my son, I went to college to provide a life for us. Was it easy? Not in the slightest, I worked 30 hours a week, went to school full time with a preschooler, as a single mom, living on our own. I had to make choices that were incredibly difficult. In fact, it put me in the hospital for weeks and I had to learn to write, comprehend and walk again. And I did, I refused to give up. After a few months I continued in my education, finished my degree and went on to my career. A career I eventually walked away from to start all over again. As life has gone through the hills and valleys, I looked for other opportunities. They are out there, we just have to seek them out, we have to put out the effort. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth, I have made wonderful friends, met incredible people and have learned SO much in the 24 1/2 years.
Our needs are always met and I always give whatever I can. Even when I
didn't have the money to, I have found a way and in the end, needs
were met. I am not saying that I have never asked for help, because I have when I absolutely had to, but that is a last resort for me. I call that ego, something I have to work on, it's not pride as some would think, it's ego. You see, I have learned that lesson too. Sometimes the choices I had to make were incredibly hard and I know they were not understood by some of my family and friends, I know I have been judged by people who haven't walked one step in my shoes, but I have always done what I felt was best our family, and our needs were met.
As I rebuild our abundance, I will continue to give joyously, fulfill dreams for myself, my family, and my friends. I will be able to travel and enjoy the beautiful world God created for us. I will be able to build the senior center I want to and do missions trips. I will
always be able to look myself in the mirror and I won't apologize. I will always learn, I will always try to do more, to do better, to gain knowledge. Mostly, I will work on myself. To become better I have to change, I have to be better, I have to do better, no one else can do it for me. I do not expect anyone to take care of me, except for me and God. I know He will because God is faithful and provides,
because I trust in Him. I also know He expects me to put forth the some
of the effort.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
This Year is About the Journey
I have spent quite a bit of time at the end of 2013 and early 2014 looking at my goals for the year. I had decided I wanted to focus on one word for 2014. I scribbled words in notebooks, my journal, my computer and I kept coming back to a verse. The verse is Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
2013 was a tough year, probably the toughest in 21 years and if you know anything about the last 6 or 18 years of my life that is saying something. At times I felt out of place, not myself, without focus, without purpose, I didn't know what to think or do. There is one thing that I do know though? Life is about the journey, not the destination. It is what we learn and who we become along the way to reaching and achieving our goals. I have questioned over and over and over my path, what am I supposed to do, who am I supposed to help and how am I supposed to do it. I have asked God this question 1,000 times this past year and as I kept pondering the New Year this verse kept popping in my head. You see I'm a planner, I like it all in the calendar or spreadsheet neatly planned out and ready to go and this verse tells me I am not the one in control of the plan. What do I do with THAT? Well, I finally decided to let go. Let go of the plan, let go of 2013 and let God. Because frankly what else is there to do, clearly I don't want a repeat of last year.
So my word to focus on in 2014 is - Journey. I plan to focus on the journey of what God has planned for me. I am going to be disciplined enough to listen and follow through on His plan with real intention. I am going to seek him out so I know that I am on the path that he has laid out for me. I don't know where it's going to take me yet, but I do know that I don't have to worry because it's in his hands.
Now what this doesn't mean is that I will sit back in my lounge chair, day after day and wait to hear his voice. What it does mean is I will listen as I set my goals, act when my gut tells me to do something and when I am sure about his plans I will work with intention of achieving those goals 100%.
One goal I have this year is to read the Bible in its entirety in chronological order, so far that has been a lot of fun. I have a separate journal just for goals, quotes, words, verses and pictures for my 2014 path. I am letting go and just letting God take control. Will I stumble along the way? I have no doubt, but I also know one other thing about me, I ALWAYS get up, I dust myself off and I move forward.
So this year, I will enjoy the journey. I will take time to appreciate, I will sit back and rest when I need to and I will go 110% with my hair on fire when I need to and I can honestly say, I am looking forward to it all. Let the journey begin!!
2013 was a tough year, probably the toughest in 21 years and if you know anything about the last 6 or 18 years of my life that is saying something. At times I felt out of place, not myself, without focus, without purpose, I didn't know what to think or do. There is one thing that I do know though? Life is about the journey, not the destination. It is what we learn and who we become along the way to reaching and achieving our goals. I have questioned over and over and over my path, what am I supposed to do, who am I supposed to help and how am I supposed to do it. I have asked God this question 1,000 times this past year and as I kept pondering the New Year this verse kept popping in my head. You see I'm a planner, I like it all in the calendar or spreadsheet neatly planned out and ready to go and this verse tells me I am not the one in control of the plan. What do I do with THAT? Well, I finally decided to let go. Let go of the plan, let go of 2013 and let God. Because frankly what else is there to do, clearly I don't want a repeat of last year.
So my word to focus on in 2014 is - Journey. I plan to focus on the journey of what God has planned for me. I am going to be disciplined enough to listen and follow through on His plan with real intention. I am going to seek him out so I know that I am on the path that he has laid out for me. I don't know where it's going to take me yet, but I do know that I don't have to worry because it's in his hands.
Now what this doesn't mean is that I will sit back in my lounge chair, day after day and wait to hear his voice. What it does mean is I will listen as I set my goals, act when my gut tells me to do something and when I am sure about his plans I will work with intention of achieving those goals 100%.
One goal I have this year is to read the Bible in its entirety in chronological order, so far that has been a lot of fun. I have a separate journal just for goals, quotes, words, verses and pictures for my 2014 path. I am letting go and just letting God take control. Will I stumble along the way? I have no doubt, but I also know one other thing about me, I ALWAYS get up, I dust myself off and I move forward.
So this year, I will enjoy the journey. I will take time to appreciate, I will sit back and rest when I need to and I will go 110% with my hair on fire when I need to and I can honestly say, I am looking forward to it all. Let the journey begin!!
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Held to a higher standard
As a christian woman, I am held to a higher standard, as an Army wife and mom, I am held to a higher standard. My kids as soldiers in the US Army are held to a higher standard and my husband as retired military too. I keep that in mind daily as I am out in the public eye, dealing with clients, and at appointments. I uphold that even behind closed doors.
Police are held to a higher standard and it irritates me when I see abuses of that power, on the road as they do not obey traffic laws, run stop signs and text while driving. YOU are held to a higher standard!
Justice was finally served for the families who were forever changed by the actions of David Bisard. You took the life of one and injuring at least 2 others because of a decision you made and for some reason you believed you were above. I feel for his wife and children who have to live with his guilt and I will keep them in my prayers, it cannot be easy for them.
None of us are above the law and we may think for a fleeting moment that we can do "it" just this once, but all it takes is one time and lives can be changed forever. No matter who you are, where you are, someone is always watching and someone is impacted. Sometimes we don't know or appreciate what we have until it's gone or it's threaten. Actions always have consequences, some are good and some are not. Life changed in an instant.
Police are held to a higher standard and it irritates me when I see abuses of that power, on the road as they do not obey traffic laws, run stop signs and text while driving. YOU are held to a higher standard!
Justice was finally served for the families who were forever changed by the actions of David Bisard. You took the life of one and injuring at least 2 others because of a decision you made and for some reason you believed you were above. I feel for his wife and children who have to live with his guilt and I will keep them in my prayers, it cannot be easy for them.
None of us are above the law and we may think for a fleeting moment that we can do "it" just this once, but all it takes is one time and lives can be changed forever. No matter who you are, where you are, someone is always watching and someone is impacted. Sometimes we don't know or appreciate what we have until it's gone or it's threaten. Actions always have consequences, some are good and some are not. Life changed in an instant.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Why I do what I do.
As Distributors who are a part of Herbalife on the business side, we attend trainings monthly. We hone our skills, we work to become better coaches, better people, better servants. All roads in training lead to Extravaganza, our major country-wide event training. I have been to 10 throughout my career and they get better and better, I always learn, but this year I was really affected in a different way. I shared with my customers, members, distributors, old and new, in an email I sent to each of them. I am sharing here, because this is a commitment to my new customers, members and Distributors in the future as well.
I am going to be completely open here for a few reasons:
1. I always try to be
2. I feel as a coach helping people with very personal issues they deserve it,
3. If I can help just one person in their journey I feel like I made a difference in this life.
My goal this month and throughout the end of the year is to really focus on the goals of others. I was asked during our national conference in Vegas "Why is it you do Herbalife? If your have been in for years and income has been up and down, why are you here? It can't be the money, because it has not always been there, you walked away from a serious income and now you work for yourself, so what is the real reason?" I have never been asked that in 11 years. Yes I have made money, I have been able to keep my son in any sport he wanted as he was growing up. I thought it was the picture of travel and lifestyle an such, but is that all, is that true. That cannot be true if I am still here and money hasn't been a factor. I live in a 2 bedroom apt that we are very comfortable right now, we have 1 car, there isn't a purpose for 2. I give away our "extras" all the time, so what is it then?
I thought about if for a few minutes and it comes down to this. It's the people, I truly, truly love helping people. I love being a coach, I love doing follow-up calls and seeing how someones week went, I love someone calling me from a dressing room because they are buying jeans 2 sizes smaller or went to the gym for the first time. I love inspiring change in people's lives, helping them get their health back or feeling better about themselves. I have had some clients who have been told they can't for so long that they believe it. I have had some who have been so beaten down, they believe they don't deserve it and that is just not true. I love that I can make someone smile and feel good about themselves. So if I can make a difference in someone's life and help the achieve their goals, then I achieve my own at the same time. So that leads me to ask these questions.
How are you doing? What can I do to serve you? What can I do to help, hold you accountable, plan out your goals or anything of the sort? I am available by phone, email or text, just let me know what you need and I will always do my best to help.
I love what I do, I love our company, I love that we are working together to help others around the wold. I love that we have CASA Herbalife's around the world to help children, give them a good meal and an opportunity and I love that we strive to be a little bit better every day. Those that truly are in Herbalife to help others, to change lives and are in for the right reasons is why this company works. We have huge hearts and truly, truly want to serve others. That is why we work, it isn't a get rich quick scheme and if that is what you are after you won't last and you will blame Herbalife, your sponsor, your down line and the list goes on.
I just want to know, what are your goals, what can I do to help and support you?
I am going to be completely open here for a few reasons:
1. I always try to be
2. I feel as a coach helping people with very personal issues they deserve it,
3. If I can help just one person in their journey I feel like I made a difference in this life.
4. I don't always get it right, no matter how hard i try and I have to be okay with that, grow and move forward.
My goal this month and throughout the end of the year is to really focus on the goals of others. I was asked during our national conference in Vegas "Why is it you do Herbalife? If your have been in for years and income has been up and down, why are you here? It can't be the money, because it has not always been there, you walked away from a serious income and now you work for yourself, so what is the real reason?" I have never been asked that in 11 years. Yes I have made money, I have been able to keep my son in any sport he wanted as he was growing up. I thought it was the picture of travel and lifestyle an such, but is that all, is that true. That cannot be true if I am still here and money hasn't been a factor. I live in a 2 bedroom apt that we are very comfortable right now, we have 1 car, there isn't a purpose for 2. I give away our "extras" all the time, so what is it then?
I thought about if for a few minutes and it comes down to this. It's the people, I truly, truly love helping people. I love being a coach, I love doing follow-up calls and seeing how someones week went, I love someone calling me from a dressing room because they are buying jeans 2 sizes smaller or went to the gym for the first time. I love inspiring change in people's lives, helping them get their health back or feeling better about themselves. I have had some clients who have been told they can't for so long that they believe it. I have had some who have been so beaten down, they believe they don't deserve it and that is just not true. I love that I can make someone smile and feel good about themselves. So if I can make a difference in someone's life and help the achieve their goals, then I achieve my own at the same time. So that leads me to ask these questions.
How are you doing? What can I do to serve you? What can I do to help, hold you accountable, plan out your goals or anything of the sort? I am available by phone, email or text, just let me know what you need and I will always do my best to help.
I love what I do, I love our company, I love that we are working together to help others around the wold. I love that we have CASA Herbalife's around the world to help children, give them a good meal and an opportunity and I love that we strive to be a little bit better every day. Those that truly are in Herbalife to help others, to change lives and are in for the right reasons is why this company works. We have huge hearts and truly, truly want to serve others. That is why we work, it isn't a get rich quick scheme and if that is what you are after you won't last and you will blame Herbalife, your sponsor, your down line and the list goes on.
I just want to know, what are your goals, what can I do to help and support you?
Friday, October 25, 2013
Monday, September 30, 2013
Your peace of mind plan
So for my last post in September for Brain Aneurysm Awareness Month I want to touch on another subject. Not an easy one, but necessary. This post will be long, I will take you through the most frightening night. Why? So you get a glimpse of what it feels like to be making decisions at a young age, on what could be your death bed. To make an impact and put it at the front of your mind to get papers in place.
Your Plan - Call it your peace of mind plan.
You want to know what doesn't give you piece of mind? At the young age of 26, being a single mom to a 4 year old, that is your world, and signing a handwritten Will as you are being rolled into an ambulance at one hospital because chances aren't great that you will survive that ride, but even lower if you have the surgery where you are. What doesn't help is that ambulance ride where the driver has to keep slowing or stopping because so many ignore the life-threatening sirens blaring.
As we are young and our kids are young we don't give enough thought to the what ifs. I was a healthy, active 26 year old who suddenly was in the fight of my life, not once but twice.
After spending just over a week in ICU and finally getting better, 2 days later a blood clot came loose off my chest catheter and hit the other side of my brain. It was a 1 in 1,000,000 chance. Suddenly I couldn't breathe and then the seizure started. I remember the nurse looking over at me as I pounded on my bed because I couldn't talk and her face, I remember code blue being called, I remember the crash pads, I remember the nurse trying to put an i.v. in me as I was seizing and I remember my thought process.
I talked myself through that entire seizure, I told myself that I had to calm down, try breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, I remember asking God to calm me, I remember telling myself to calm down, slow down and try to breathe. Mostly though I remember telling myself, "Calm down, breathe, just breathe, in through your nose out through your mouth, Michael and Morgan are on their way, you can't do this to them. You can do this. Calm down, breathe, relax your body, you have to call your Mom, you can't let her bring the kids to see you like this. You can do this. Calm down, breathe, just breathe, here it comes, you are getting air, in through your nose and out through your mouth. You got this. Finally I could breath again, the seizing started to subside and I begged the nurse for a phone, which of course, she didn't want to give it to me. I said you don't understand, I have to call my Mom, she is bringing Michael and Morgan, please don't let the kids see me this way, they will be too scared, please get her on the phone. Thankfully we were able to get a hold of my Mom, I don't know what she told them, they were only 4 and 2, but what I did know is I wanted to protect them. Morgan is my niece by the way, her and Michael have been like brother and sister since she was born. They had just seen me the day before feeling better and eating with them and having fun, I could not let them see me that way.
What I also didn't know at the time was my best friend was walking down the hall with Schoop's and had been told to go away. I was so sad that she had to witness and to not know what was going on.
More that the aneurysm or the surgery, the above event is what I keep in the back of my head. It is why we have a will, it is why we have directives, it why I talk about what I want should something happen, it is why I have life insurance. I did not want to ever be face with another situation where I had to make impossible choices lying on a gurney. Talk about it with your loved ones, while the threat is not there and emotions are not high, tell your spouse, parents, sister, brother what your choices are. Mostly though, make sure that you have provided for your children, so they do not get caught up in family emotion on who is going to raise them, who is going to pay for them, etc. I knew I would never have to worry about Michael, my parents would have always taken care of him, they would have always provided for him, but at 26 I never thought I would be faced with those realities.
Papers you need: Will/Living trust, Living Will, Power of Attorney (even for your spouse), Health Care Representative, DNR if you choose, which Indiana just changed, so you have to revisit that, immunization records, allergies, medical records of prior surgeries or hospital stays, medical insurance cards, insurance policies, life, auto, home, disability or any other. Have social security cards, bank numbers, policy numbers, copies of your driver's license, passport, vehicle titles, house deed, boat or other "toys". Who will have say over you if you become disabled? The chances were high that I would have disabilities and although I know my parents would have taken care of me, we don't all have that luxury. What about your parents? Are there other siblings involved? If so, their wishes need to be spelled out, it needs to be talked about? What are their wishes, do you know what they are, is it written down? Again these are things that need to be take care of while your emotions aren't running amok.
I also have these documents electronically in case we need them, I just need access to "the cloud" and can't access them even in travel.
Okay, sorry this post is so long, but it is something that I am passionate about. Make sure your family is protected, you just don't know what will happen and when.
Your Plan - Call it your peace of mind plan.
You want to know what doesn't give you piece of mind? At the young age of 26, being a single mom to a 4 year old, that is your world, and signing a handwritten Will as you are being rolled into an ambulance at one hospital because chances aren't great that you will survive that ride, but even lower if you have the surgery where you are. What doesn't help is that ambulance ride where the driver has to keep slowing or stopping because so many ignore the life-threatening sirens blaring.
As we are young and our kids are young we don't give enough thought to the what ifs. I was a healthy, active 26 year old who suddenly was in the fight of my life, not once but twice.
After spending just over a week in ICU and finally getting better, 2 days later a blood clot came loose off my chest catheter and hit the other side of my brain. It was a 1 in 1,000,000 chance. Suddenly I couldn't breathe and then the seizure started. I remember the nurse looking over at me as I pounded on my bed because I couldn't talk and her face, I remember code blue being called, I remember the crash pads, I remember the nurse trying to put an i.v. in me as I was seizing and I remember my thought process.
I talked myself through that entire seizure, I told myself that I had to calm down, try breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, I remember asking God to calm me, I remember telling myself to calm down, slow down and try to breathe. Mostly though I remember telling myself, "Calm down, breathe, just breathe, in through your nose out through your mouth, Michael and Morgan are on their way, you can't do this to them. You can do this. Calm down, breathe, relax your body, you have to call your Mom, you can't let her bring the kids to see you like this. You can do this. Calm down, breathe, just breathe, here it comes, you are getting air, in through your nose and out through your mouth. You got this. Finally I could breath again, the seizing started to subside and I begged the nurse for a phone, which of course, she didn't want to give it to me. I said you don't understand, I have to call my Mom, she is bringing Michael and Morgan, please don't let the kids see me this way, they will be too scared, please get her on the phone. Thankfully we were able to get a hold of my Mom, I don't know what she told them, they were only 4 and 2, but what I did know is I wanted to protect them. Morgan is my niece by the way, her and Michael have been like brother and sister since she was born. They had just seen me the day before feeling better and eating with them and having fun, I could not let them see me that way.
What I also didn't know at the time was my best friend was walking down the hall with Schoop's and had been told to go away. I was so sad that she had to witness and to not know what was going on.
More that the aneurysm or the surgery, the above event is what I keep in the back of my head. It is why we have a will, it is why we have directives, it why I talk about what I want should something happen, it is why I have life insurance. I did not want to ever be face with another situation where I had to make impossible choices lying on a gurney. Talk about it with your loved ones, while the threat is not there and emotions are not high, tell your spouse, parents, sister, brother what your choices are. Mostly though, make sure that you have provided for your children, so they do not get caught up in family emotion on who is going to raise them, who is going to pay for them, etc. I knew I would never have to worry about Michael, my parents would have always taken care of him, they would have always provided for him, but at 26 I never thought I would be faced with those realities.
Papers you need: Will/Living trust, Living Will, Power of Attorney (even for your spouse), Health Care Representative, DNR if you choose, which Indiana just changed, so you have to revisit that, immunization records, allergies, medical records of prior surgeries or hospital stays, medical insurance cards, insurance policies, life, auto, home, disability or any other. Have social security cards, bank numbers, policy numbers, copies of your driver's license, passport, vehicle titles, house deed, boat or other "toys". Who will have say over you if you become disabled? The chances were high that I would have disabilities and although I know my parents would have taken care of me, we don't all have that luxury. What about your parents? Are there other siblings involved? If so, their wishes need to be spelled out, it needs to be talked about? What are their wishes, do you know what they are, is it written down? Again these are things that need to be take care of while your emotions aren't running amok.
I also have these documents electronically in case we need them, I just need access to "the cloud" and can't access them even in travel.
Okay, sorry this post is so long, but it is something that I am passionate about. Make sure your family is protected, you just don't know what will happen and when.
Being Bullied
I was bullied a lot in the 5th grade, to this day I remember the sunny day being tied up with a jump rope and left outside. I remember people picking on me for wearing dresses every day, I remember the miserable feeling of having to go to school, especially that year, but many other days too. I will say that not every day was miserable, I did have some good times in school, but not always. It just became easier to be what people thought or said than be me. I hear people say they would love to go back to the good old days of high school, I couldn't wait to never have to step foot in another classroom.
Unfortunately, it doesn't always stop as you become an adult. Gossip and talking about someone is just another part of bullying adding to that negativity, especially when you know it will get around and back to that person. Be aware of your surroundings, be aware when you are talking about someone in a dressing room, be aware when you are talking about someone and don't believe they, or someone close to them, is in earshot, or at a booth in a restaurant. Be aware of the fact that you are teaching your children that it is okay. Be aware of your words, they are worse than any stick I have ever come across. Be aware of how easy it is to use your fingers via social media, email or text and the lasting effect of those words. Be aware of what is most damaging, what is that? Is when it is someone you love,trust and respected. Once that is shattered, I don't know if you are ever the same.
I found out recently that someone apparently still has stories to tell, even as untrue as they are. Did it bother me? Yes. Is it easier for me to move past it, finally yes.
I learned over the years to stay in the background, to stay silent. Except to myself, the self talk in my head resonated their words. It has taken me years to learn that what the collective "they" have to say isn't true, it doesn't always work. Anyone who has gone through bullying, being put down or talked about by those they love has times when it creeps back to the surface, sometimes it is easy to push out of the way and other times, not so much. It's those times when it takes days, weeks, months of talking to yourself, trying to find your bearings again, trying to become whole again. It's when you dig deep, trust the Lord because he knows your hurts and he knows how to heal. Now, I work hard at making sure others don't give in, say or believe that self talk, especially with the women in my life.
Be uplifting in someone's life, stay positive and remember the old saying if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all has never been truer.
Bullies called him Pork Chop - Upworthy
Unfortunately, it doesn't always stop as you become an adult. Gossip and talking about someone is just another part of bullying adding to that negativity, especially when you know it will get around and back to that person. Be aware of your surroundings, be aware when you are talking about someone in a dressing room, be aware when you are talking about someone and don't believe they, or someone close to them, is in earshot, or at a booth in a restaurant. Be aware of the fact that you are teaching your children that it is okay. Be aware of your words, they are worse than any stick I have ever come across. Be aware of how easy it is to use your fingers via social media, email or text and the lasting effect of those words. Be aware of what is most damaging, what is that? Is when it is someone you love,trust and respected. Once that is shattered, I don't know if you are ever the same.
I found out recently that someone apparently still has stories to tell, even as untrue as they are. Did it bother me? Yes. Is it easier for me to move past it, finally yes.
I learned over the years to stay in the background, to stay silent. Except to myself, the self talk in my head resonated their words. It has taken me years to learn that what the collective "they" have to say isn't true, it doesn't always work. Anyone who has gone through bullying, being put down or talked about by those they love has times when it creeps back to the surface, sometimes it is easy to push out of the way and other times, not so much. It's those times when it takes days, weeks, months of talking to yourself, trying to find your bearings again, trying to become whole again. It's when you dig deep, trust the Lord because he knows your hurts and he knows how to heal. Now, I work hard at making sure others don't give in, say or believe that self talk, especially with the women in my life.
Be uplifting in someone's life, stay positive and remember the old saying if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all has never been truer.
Bullies called him Pork Chop - Upworthy
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